Ambiguosity

I asked my husband if “ambiguosity” is a word.  His response was… “I suppose”.  That’s good enough for me. 🙂

Yesterday I was asked how I felt seeing the book finished and in print.  I found it a little hard to come up with words that would express the feeling.  It’s a good feeling, don’t get me wrong.  But maybe this is one of those times when I can say, “word’s just don’t express.”  That isn’t what an interviewer wants to hear though,  so I tried.  “It is awesome,” I said.  That sounds cutsie, I thought.  So I followed it with, “It is a wonderful feeling of accomplishment.”  That doesn’t cover it either.  After that I rambled a bit (don’t ask how much coffee I had downed) about my lack of faith that it would ever really come to be, my amazement that I had actually accomplished this dream, and my certainty that without my husband’s encouragement and my Grandma’s repeated queries as to “how that book is coming” I wouldn’t have finished it…  I could have gone on as to all of the other people who were instrumental in the accomplishment… the Black Hills Writers Group, my parents and siblings, my nieces and nephews who took the job of chief naggers VERY seriously sometimes…

This is not just my accomplishment, but many people’s.  So it is an awesome feeling.  It is a wonderful sense of accomplishment.  It is a “can this really have happened to me” moment… it is all of that.  But there is this little bit of ambiguoisity that pops up now and then.  For instance…

When cleaning my house last week I stood over the stacks of boxes in my living room  and I felt a little ambiguous.  What have I done?  What am I ever going to do with all of these books?  Sell them, of course…. but what if I don’t.  Then what do you do with 7 boxes of books (not to mention the ones hanging out in each vehicle and at the house in NC or at my parent’s house in SD.  I’ll put  them in the guest room.  I’ll cover them with a pretty blanket or cloth and use them as a suitcase stand!  Brilliant.  But what about the rest… hum…  I glanced around the living room and AHA!  Those two chairs could sure use an end table between them… 

So now you know at least one good use for “books waiting for a home.”  Make furniture out of them. 🙂  Hopefully they will sell quickly enough that the new furniture doesn’t have time to collect dust…